Americans planning to visit the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago were inundated with cautionary tales about evil trappings in the big city and stories of tourists being ripped off. While an event the size of the World’s Columbian Exposition certainly had its fair share of scammers, reports of exorbitant prices on the fairgrounds were largely unsubstantiated.
Even before the opening of the Fair, the poem reprinted below offered guidance to the unsophisticated who contemplated a trip to see the Exposition in Chicago. “Goin’ to the Fair,” came from the New York Evening Sun, a paper that spilled much ink attempting to disparage the Midwestern city that had snatched the Fair from them. The doggerel ran as boilerplate (sometimes under the title “The Chicagoites’ll Git Yer” ) in many small-town newspapers across the country, such as the April 28, 1893, issue of the Shepherdstown (WV) Register.
For the record, citizens of the Windy City do not calls themselves “Chicagoites.” We are Chicagoans, thank you. Happily, time have changed. For the past three years, American travelers have selected Chicago as “The Best City in the U.S.” to visit according to the 2019 Condé Nast Traveler Readers’ Choice Awards. On the other hand, the 1893 complaint about taxes … well, some things never change.
They’ll take yer breath away ef ye don’t watch out.
Goin’ to the Fair
Ef yer goin’ to see the circus
called the big Chicago fair,
Ye’d better cut yer wisdom teeth
and sharpen ’em with care,
An’ keep yer wits about ye,
an’ mind what yer about,
For they’ll skin ye like the mischief
ef ye don’t watch out!
.
They’re goin’ to charge fer gazin’
an’ a extra lump for thinkin;
It’ll cost a heap fer eatin’
and they’ll sock it on fer drinkin’,
An ef ye get a bed at night
or ef ye go without,
They’ll skin you like the mischief
ef ye don’t watch out!
.
It’s a cent apiece fer coughin’
an’ jus’ twice as much fer sneezin’;
A nickle ef ye hold yer breath
an’ two of ’em fer breathin’;
A shillin’ fer a whisper,
an a quarter fer a shout—
They’ll skin you like the mischief
ef ye don’t watch out!
.
They’ll tax ye fer the privilege
o’ walkin on the ground,
No matter ef ye go ahead
or ef ye turn around,
An jes’ because yer livin—
don’t ye never have a doubt—
They’ll skin you like the mischief
ef ye don’t watch out!